An Atheist in the Woods

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Big Blue 72
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An Atheist in the Woods

Post by Big Blue 72 »

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


When he turned to look he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.


He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.


He tripped & fell on the ground.


He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:

"OH MY GOD!!"

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.


As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'


'Very well', said the voice.


The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:



:pray: 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
Last edited by Big Blue 72 on Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sparx Macgyver
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Re: An Atheist in the Woods

Post by Sparx Macgyver »

ROTFLMAO!! Nice!
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Old Bird
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Re: An Atheist in the Woods

Post by Old Bird »

Two skydivers had just jumped out of a plane and were in free fall having a great time. When the first pulled his rip cord the chute failed to open. He started to panic and pulled the backup cord, which also failed.

He looked at his friend and yelled: "What do I do?"

His friend, a lifelong Budhist said: "Pray to Buddha and you will be saved."

The first said "But I'm a Christian, I believe in God, not Buddha!"

His friend calmly said: "pray to Buddha, and you will be saved." The he pulled his rip cord and his parachute opened cleanly, allowing him to glide away.

The falling skydiver decided he had better do something fast, and his friend's advice was as good as any, so he looked to the sky and said: "Buddha, please save me. I have never been a Buddhist before, but I can learn if you just give me the chance by stopping my fall."

As he was just above the ground, a giant ghostly hand reached out and slowly stopped him, cradling him not 5 feet off the ground.

The man exclaimed "THANK GOD!"

SPLAT, the hand crushed him on the ground.
Timothy

It's for my twin boys, sure they're only 3 right now, but it's all for them! Well, and my twin girls. They're not even 1 yet, but when they are I'll have a pit crew!

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